Anyone parenting a child with special needs knows that any trip out of the house is likely to "reveal the thoughts of many" about disability issues. Some people ignore, some stare, some turn away abruptly, while others wave, smile or make a point of saying hi.
Recently a friend came up to me saying, "I've been hoping to run into you for SO long!" She went on to tell me about an alternative medicine doctor she knows who can cure cancer, alzheimers, strokes and acne (well, alright, she didn't specifically mention acne!), and then came the clincher: "And he can cure Down syndrome with nutrition, and within 8 weeks the facial characteristics of Down syndrome would be gone, and Lucy would look completely normal!" It is amazing how well-meaning individuals can be completely gullible and insensitive to the feelings of a parent of a child with a disability.
Another friend once told me about Lucy, "You are lucky to have a perpetual baby in the house." I was speechless, but then completely shocked as she went on, "I'm lucky, too, because I also have a perpetual baby in MY house--my miniature poodle." How a devout Catholic trained as a physical therapist could say such a thing defies belief!
Ultimately these attitudes are the result of ignorance and prejudice. Very often the friendliest strangers who approach me tell me that they have family members with Down syndrome. Then I know we are both in on the "secret" of what a fantastic blessing it is to know and love a person with Down syndrome. Soon after Lucy was born another friend told me her daughter was sorry to hear about Lucy's disability. Joyce told me she corrected her daughter, and told her--"No, actually Betty is the lucky one!" Joyce once belonged to a Legion of Mary group where one of the members was a young woman with Down syndrome who was devoted to Our Lady, made rosaries every week and was completely accepted and cherished by the group. Joyce had first hand experience of the disability world, and therefore celebrated Lucy's birth with genuine joy.
While it's true that Simeon told Our Lady a sword would pierce her soul so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed, how much greater was the joy the Child Jesus brought her! Sometimes the thoughts of others cause us pain also, but it is far surpassed by the joy and love our children bring us.
